But every San Franciscan should witness the controlled chaos of this 70-plus-year-old institution in Nob Hill at least once. Choreographed staff in crisp white button-downs spin house salads dramatically from above. Prime rib gets carved on roving stainless steel carts. Martini glasses always stay full. All you have to do is settle into a cushy red booth and enjoy the ride.

A meal at The Old Clam House starts with a shot of complimentary hot clam juice. It’ll prime you for all the sautéed shellfish, seafood pastas, creamy chowders, and other perfectly solid fish-forward specials you’ll consume at this Bayview seafood classic. The salty drink is a fitting start to dinner at the city’s oldest running restaurant in the same location (established in 1861), which heavily leans into the nautical theme.

At Bix, there’s live jazz every night, cocktail glasses are chilled in mounds of shaved ice, and buttoned-up waiters might sneak you an order of succotash on the house. It feels like a 1930s nightclub trapped in time. Drinking a martini is practically a requirement at this old-school American spot in the Financial District. And even though the food can only very loosely be described as good, we don’t care. What Bix lacks in mind-blowing caesars, it makes up for a hundred times over in character.

Thanh Long is one of the only restaurants we know of that guards its recipes with the same level of secrecy reserved for the Krabby Patty. The garlic noodles and roast crab at the Vietnamese seafood spot in the Sunset are still made in a secret kitchen enclosed within the main kitchen—and the commitment to confidentiality pays off. The butter-drenched noodles and peppery whole crabs (also drenched in butter) still draw crowds nightly from all over the Bay.

Original Joe’s roomy, maroon booths have seen a lot. They’ve hosted the butts of multiple generations for birthdays, date nights, and even a music video shoot. Sure, the food at this old-school Italian spot that’s been open since 1937 is solid, but you’re here for the room that's loud enough to squash any need for music and the black tie waiters dropping off plates of spicy vodka rigatoni and platters of chicken parmigiana that are more cheese than poultry.

Brazen Head is probably the only place in town where you can roll in at 11pm, and gobble up perfectly charred NY pepper steak, some cheesy french onion soup, and marinara-drenched meatballs that are the comfort equivalent of Lenny Kravitz’s blanket-scarf. The Cow Hollow steakhouse has no signage out front and everything we want in a late-night spot that looks like an 1800s Scottish pub: paintings of bearded old men, velvet curtains, sports bobbleheads for kitsch, and strong cocktails.

Operating for over three decades at 16th and Valencia, Panchita's is where to go for some of the city’s best pupusas. Each one is packed with delicious meats and vegetables, and plenty of cheese that oozes out to form crispy edges around the griddled masa. Whenever we head to this counter-service Mission spot for quick meals, hearty lunches, or evenings when we want to stave off a hangover, we inevitably end up with a couple of revueltas—a classic mix of chicharron, bean, and cheese.

Yes, Scoma’s on Fisherman’s Wharf is a tried-and-true seafood classic, but Sotto Mare is divier, more rambunctious, and ultimately feels more like a party we want to be invited back to, again and again. Tickets fly across the restaurant on a clothesline while staff grill scallops and plate humongous portions of linguine with clams from behind the bar. Ordering the cioppino (and wearing the plastic bib that comes with it) is non-negotiable here.

La Taqueria is to Mission-style burritos what "Jingle Bell Rock" is to songs that get stuck in our head in the month of December: not necessarily our top pick, but an iconic standby nonetheless. Whether you’ve lived here all your life or visited once for exactly 72 hours, odds are high that you’ve spent a late Friday night in line on Mission Street in pursuit of an excellent riceless burrito. Just load up your super burrito with carnitas or their tender carne asada, and always ask for it dorado.

Ask anyone in town where to go for dry-fried wings, and the answer will always be San Tung. These stunners covered in glossy garlic, ginger, and red pepper sauce with a caramel-like consistency have single-handedly transformed this casual Chinese restaurant into a beloved Sunset institution. Waiting hours in line for those wings, some crispy-bottomed potstickers, and satisfyingly thick black bean sauce noodles—is pretty much a citywide pastime (San Tung doesn’t take reservations).

You could randomly point at a map of SF and land within scootering distance of a Burma Superstar, one of their many offshoots, or any of the other fantastic Burmese places across town. But the definitive Beyoncé of them all is Mandalay, a casual Richmond spot that we have to thank for being the first Burmese restaurant to open in SF back in 1984. Come with a group, order enough food to cover every square inch of your table, and wash it all down with beer, sake, and $10 glasses of house wine.

Tadich Grill is the longest continuously running restaurant in California (they opened back in 1849), which is pretty damn cool. But history alone isn’t the only reason to come here. You’re also at the Financial District spot for meaty crab cakes worth e-scootering across town for, free hunks of sourdough, and an old-school setting complete with servers in white jackets and a bar so long you can barely see the end.

Standing in line for fluffy Sicilian focaccia at Golden Boy is a local rite of passage. This North Beach institution with its iconic red neon finger sign makes some of the thickest and cheapest pizzas in town, starting at $3.50 a slice. There are also only six kinds on the menu, but we like to zero in on the pepperoni or the meaty combo with sausage. Inside, punk music blares, the walls are covered with stickers, and plenty of beers flow from the tap.

Almost 50 years after they first opened, Tú Lan is still serving the same last meal-worthy imperial rolls, huge bowls of phở, and grilled meats over rice and vermicelli as they did back in the day. The Mid-Market Vietnamese spot is pretty straightforward—it has just a few seats in the back of the long space, a kitchen where you can see pork sizzling towards charred perfection on the grill, and quick service. Portions are huge, and you can get in and out for about $10.

Much like sourdough, the Truffle Man, and Buster Posey’s right arm, Zuni Cafe is a beloved SF treasure. The Civic Center spot has been holding down the roast chicken game since the ‘70s, and is where we go when we want to pretend we’re retired in a Pacific Heights mansion and eat oysters every day for lunch. The roast chicken should absolutely be on your table, as should the textbook caesar salad and mountain of shoestring fries that seem to defy all laws of physics.

Sometimes, you have one drink too many and need some no-fuss french toast and chicken fried steak smothered in gravy at 1:30am. This two-level, retro-style diner is a rare 24-hour spot that’ll pull you in with red swivel chairs, bright neon lights, and a menu of hearty breakfast classics that never fail to hit the spot. It has been a Castro mainstay since the 1970s, and based on the after-bar crowds, locals, and tourists who continuously pack this joint, Orphan Andy's will never go out of style.

Back in 1979, before words like “seitan” and “zoodles” were part of the city’s lexicon, Greens debuted in the Marina with an entirely vegetarian menu. It’s hands-down one of the most beautiful places to eat in SF—there are big windows that look out onto the water, so you might see boats bobbing by or sea lions playing around in the bay while you eat, plus colossal wood sculptures in the dining room. Come here for leisurely meals consisting of spring rolls and pizza on cornmeal crust.

Bring up R&G Lounge around your boss, uncle’s cousin, or yoga teacher, and you’re bound to hear at least one nostalgic story about that time they took down an entire salt and pepper crab in one sitting, or had a graduation party on the top floor with one too many lychee martinis. The Cantonese restaurant has been going strong since 1985, so it’s hard to find a person in the city who doesn’t have fond memories of passing around plates of shrimp with scrambled eggs and salt and pepper tofu.

If we ever opened a ski lodge in the mountains, we’d furnish the lobby exactly like the dining room at Kokkari Estiatorio. The Greek restaurant in the Financial District always has lamb and chicken slowly roasting away on rotating spits along the wall, making the whole place smell incredible. We could easily spend hours in the high-backed armchairs while sipping on Greek wine and feeling dignified. Kokkari has been a FiDi staple since 1998, and we’re confident it’ll stay that way.

Yank Sing is the city’s most famous dim sum spot—it’s been around since 1958 and is known to draw huge crowds, especially at the larger Spear Street location inside the Rincon Center. And while they’re arguably not the best dim sum spot in the city, Yank Sing is still a classic we love, and coming here at least once is a quintessential dining experience. Once inside, metal push carts with bamboo steamers will zoom past you, and you’ll have your pick of everything from kurobuta pork to siu mai.

This all-day Russian cafe and bakery has savory piroshkis, flaky pastries, and a never-ending menu of cookies, tarts, and cakes (there's also a full menu of entrées). Basically, this Richmond spot, which has been around in some form since the 1950s, is the one-stop shop for all the warm, sweet, savory, and comforting dishes that will make you feel like a well-worn cable knit sweater.

You won’t find penne alla vodka or fettuccine alfredo on the menu at Flour + Water. Instead, corn and chocolate mint are stuffed into cappelletti, preserved blood orange brightens up a clam and green garlic corzetti, and veal tortellini gets a bite from fresh shaved horseradish. In other words, the flavor combinations make about as much sense as a notes app apology. But somehow, they really, really work.

An ideal summer night for us usually involves oysters, a glass of sparkling wine, and the patio at Foreign Cinema. The Mission spot projects movies onto the walls of their hidden back space, and there’s an orange-y glow from the twinkling string lights overhead that make us feel like we’ve left the city entirely. You’ll find us here kicking back on special date nights or celebrating friends' last weeks in the city over seasonally changing plates like pasta with zucchini or curry fried chicken.

We admit that SF’s late-night scene leaves much to be desired. But we’re grateful to Sam’s for keeping the after-dark scene alive since the ‘60s. The counter is open until 1 or 2am most nights—a welcome sight for anyone stumbling in for terrific burgers after going out in North Beach. Get a double with everything, and swap old Vesuvio stories with the characters perched next to you at the bar until it’s time to go home. (Despite the weathered cash-only signs, they do take cards now.)

Free chips, salt rims, and ungodly amounts of tequila—this is why you’re at this Mexican restaurant in the Richmond. Tia Margarita opened in 1963, and continues to serve Mexican comfort staples on platters that are roughly the size of a life preserver. And while your affection for the spreads of carnitas and cheesy beans is directly correlated to the number of margaritas you’ve downed, a night here is always a good time thanks to the booths, shareable portions, and limitless tortilla refills.